apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
