Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
