last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
