I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
