God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize