HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
