I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
