No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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