sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
