I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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