im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
