my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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