38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
