Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize