im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just pee around me
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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