i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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