I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
