She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize