Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
