she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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