just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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