how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
