is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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