Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
