We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
