Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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