Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
