Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
