Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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