i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
