You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize