Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
