So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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