id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
