I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
