Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
