yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
