You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We need a shit load of segways right now
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
