I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
