Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
my liver is dry heaving
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