He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
