You're so nebulous sometimes
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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