the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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