Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Is it because I queefed?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
