I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
