ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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