I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
