doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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