i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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