The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
