the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
