Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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