my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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