Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
