About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
