but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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