Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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