I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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