capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
