I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
