He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize