I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
