Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
