Me too!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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