So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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