Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
