my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
