I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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